“They brought me on board earlier this year even though, at the time, I wasn’t sure I would be needed,” sighed CNBC’s flashy Dow Reaches Record High Graphic. “They promised me practically constant airtime. For awhile, things were great: I was on all day, every day, in one guise or another: Dow touches record high, Dow nearing all time high, Dow Jones Industrial Average only thing that matters, etc. I wasn’t that thrilled about meeting all the program hosts - I mean, they are all vapid cheerleaders, after all - but I was treated really well. I mean, how can you not applaud when Dow 14,000 walks into the room?” He pauses, produces a metal flask from some hidden pocket in that deep blue background, and takes a drink.

“Now, obviously, my career is over.”

The Graphic never meant to end up like this. When he was in college, he was determined to make a difference, and he spent a lot of time working as a lowly bulletin board flier for the local community theater. His big break came when a student activist group raised enough money to buy a local TV spot, and they asked him to be the chart showing the large percentage of Americans that don’t have health care. That got him noticed, and after graduation the Graphic landed a spot doing backgrounds for The Newshour with Jim Lehrer. He was really satisfied for awhile, but like so many other well-defined, crisp, brightly-colored graphics, when the big networks came calling, he just couldn’t resist the money and attention.

“I got my start on CNBC back when 11,000 was still a big number,” he told us in an exclusive interview from his West Village loft. “To be honest, I had mixed feelings even then. I mean, everybody knows that CNBC is to solid financial journalism what hazelnut marzipan is to a balanced diet - they both taste great and make you feel all giddy, but when reality sets in you’re all f***** up. When they first saw me in my new role, all my old college buddies said I’d sold out. In retrospect, I guess they were right.”

He glances down at the morning paper, and then stares out a window for a long time. The Dow dropped another 100+ points yesterday, and is now almost 10% off its highs, but that doesn’t even seem to register in his font.

“You know the irony in all this,” he says, “is that it didn’t have to be this way. I was offered another job not too long ago, but I was so cocky I turned it down - thought it was too dull - and sent the work to a buddy of mine. Now, he’s the most popular graphic on the internet, in print, on TV, everywhere. He called me yesterday to say thanks for making him a millionaire.” We asked what job could’ve looked so dull then but made his friend famous now. He sighs again, and says that the interview is over. As we step into the elevator, though, he calls back to us:

“He’s just a 5-year VIX chart.”